If you feel betrayed or hurt, it is difficult not to vent those feelings. However, if you express them to, or in the hearing of, your children it will have negative effects on their relationship with you as well as with the other parent.
Bad-mouthing will discourage the children from displaying affection towards the parent they are with for fear of appearing disloyal to the other parent.
They will develop feelings of guilt and try to hide their love for their parents. Sometimes they will go even further and exaggerate incidents that have happened with one parent in order to please the other.
Instances of this include coming back to a parent and saying that they haven't been fed for ages and are starving, or that they were shouted at and criticized.It is tempting to indulge this behaviour, as we all like to have our opinions supported. It is counter-productive though, as far as your children are concerned.
You can see that this puts the children right in the middle of the conflict where they have no need to be. It will affect their psychological health as children, and the feelings of the guilt may last well into adulthood.
To avoid this happening, have your gripes when the children are absent, and allow them the unconditional freedom to love both parents.
