As you will have seen from our introduction, this blog is to provide help and support to parents who are having problems following separation and divorce.
The best policy, is of course, prevention. If you and your partner have decided to separate, a lot of trouble can be avoided if you can both decide on a way to approach telling the children and having a co-parenting plan in place in advance.
I won't pretend this is easy, but it is the best way of handling the unfinished job of rearing your children, and limiting the damage separation will do.
What to say to the children.
Talk to the children together, and tell them that you both have decided that you will no longer be living together, that you both will continue to love the children, and to be there for them, but that this will now involve two homes and different times together.
Avoid apportioning blame. Even if you are feeling hard done by, it will not improve matters in the long run to try to persuade the children to take your side. It is always tempting to get support for your grievances, but however serious or genuine they are, it is not the business of your children to provide this support.
(I am not including cases where children have been abused by a parent; that would be a very different blog)
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