Types of Parenting after Divorce: Co-Parenting

Today's post is all about parenting after divorce or separation. The best method of parenting after divorce is to co parent. While this is best for the children it may be quite difficult for the parents especially if one or both parents are still very angry and constantly want to get at the other parent. I think that if parents could bear in mind that if they didn't have children they would not be communicating with each other now. So choose to take a business view of the situation and decide to stick to a plan that is beneficial to all concerned. In order to do this you need to know what needs children have after their parents split up.


Children's needs

• Reassurance that they are still loved by their parents
• To feel safe and that they belong
• To be able to talk to their parents about everything
• To feel that they can trust their parents and know that whatever they say to one parent will not be use to get at the other parent
• Confidence in their parent's ability to do what's right for them
• To understand that whatever problems their parents have with each other has noting to do with them.

These are only some of the needs children have but they are important needs that need to be met. 

Parenting plan

The next step is to decide on a parenting plan that will work best for both of you. When you are deciding on this look at what will suit you but also be considerate in your expectations of the other parent. Remember a good plan will make life easier for everyone and especially the children.

Sample of what goes into a parenting plan

• Payment of utility bills
• Payment of health insurance
• Medical expenses
• School books
• Who pays for holidays and extra activities?
• What will happen about birthdays and other important occasions
• Taking children to and from school
• The children's diet
• T.V. Programmes
• Who takes care of the children when they are off school or sick?
• Arrangements for visiting grandparents

These are some samples of what you might want to put in your plan and you may think of others. 

Remember a good plan will free up time for you to do other things. Good organization will help to avoid arguments.

Language was mentioned in a previous post and in developing your plan the language you use will be very important. Instead of saying "you have to do" a better alternative would be "would it be possible for you to do"

Helpful reading: Dr. Phil McGraw Family First.